When it comes to your wedding, personality matters

I recently posted about trusting your wedding vendors. Which is very important to you enjoying your day. But, this week I have been thinking about how you actually need to like the people who you have chosen to work with on your wedding day. You may have hired the most well-regarded vendors in the industry – possibly even famous vendors. But, if you don’t actually like them and enjoy working with them, it will put a huge damper on your experience. Weddings are emotional and stressful and you have to actually enjoy working with your vendors.

I once had a client who hired a very good photographer for her wedding. Her family knew him by reputation and he had done work for other people they knew. I, myself, was impressed by his work. However, come wedding day, I wasn’t super impressed with his work style. He never really warmed up to anyone. It was as if he didn’t like working with people in general. And, he was kind of rude to me. I didn’t say anything to the client about it. Him being rude to me wasn’t her problem. It wasn’t until later when I was working on a second wedding for that family that they mentioned how rude the photographer had been and how hard he had been to work with before, during and after the wedding. The bride actually said, “I thought that I would get over his personality because he takes such great photos. In the end, I hated having him around me all day.”

What a horrible thing to remember about your wedding day! It makes me really sad for my client and really mad at vendors who treat people this way. On behalf of the vendors I know in this industry, I will say that we all work really hard to be as professional as possible. I take it personally when people say they have been treated poorly by a fellow wedding industry member.

The bride’s statement is dead on. And, while I think that they got good photos, I firmly believe that they would have been better had she actually liked the photographer. This can be applied to nearly every vendor in your wedding. If you really click with your florist, they are going to understand what you want that much more. The relationship becomes more collaborative instead of one-sided. And I LOVE collaboration.

I am in a very enviable position in terms of my involvement in a wedding. I get the opportunity to be super personal with my clients. I get to spend the most time with them. I get to know them, their personalities, their likes and dislikes. Many times, I meet with them in their homes which gives me a more rounded picture of who they are. And, with my office at my house, sometimes we meet at my home. By the time their wedding day is upon us, I can say that I know that client so well that I can make decisions for them. As in, if something arises that day, I can make a decision about it without having to mention to my client that there ever was an issue. And, I think it makes for a great working relationship.

I don’t think that you have to get that personal with all your vendors. That is simply the way that I like to work. But, it is very important to feel absolutely comfortable with those you work with. Of course, I help my clients through working with vendors. Even though you might like your florist, you may not always speak “floral” language. Part of my job is to help translate what you want and what they can do for you. But, don’t sell yourself short on the working relationship because you see a big name or reputation. If they can’t back up the reputation by being nice to work with, it isn’t worth it.

Be picky. It’s okay. You don’t have to settle. And, get a planner. I know that many people settle on things because they just don’t want to deal with it anymore. If you let your planner handle the parts that you just can’t spend any more time and effort on, you’ll be happier.

Until next time… XOXO – Julie

The photo is from Burnett Photography with florals by Kimberly Nelson Floral Designs for Tracy and Stephen’s wedding. All parties got along great!