Wedding Dress Codes – the 411
There is nothing I love more than getting an invitation in the mail and seeing a requested dress code on it. Ohhh! A special party! I can’t quite describe how excited I get about it. Something about that makes me smile. A lot. I am well aware that not everyone is like this. Many folks get stressed out about trying to figure out what they are supposed to wear. And what about those weddings or events that don’t mention the type of dress? What are you supposed to do then? Well, I’m going to give you my thoughts on it.
*NOTE* I am a lover of formality. Especially in dress. The more formal the better. While I tend to take a “there are no rules anymore” attitude when it comes to weddings, level of dress is not something I compromise on. Why? Because there is nothing better than a man in a classic tux. Like James Bond. And what woman wouldn’t want to go to an event as James Bond’s date? Exactly.
First, get over the notion that it is rude to ask your guests to wear a certain level of dress. If you have dreamed of and planned a glittering night for your guests, then ask them to dress the part. That is part of the evening. It is how you have intended them to enjoy it. It is all a part of the big picture. Much like how I feel about “clean” vs. original song versions on iTunes. Just download the original. It is how the artist intended it.
Now, on to those pesky terms: black tie, white tie, black tie optional, etc. What do you do with that? Well, let’s go through them.
White Tie
This is the most formal of all dress codes, worn to evening events after 6 o’clock. I have yet to attend a white tie event. I am kind of sad about that. In the case that you are invited to the next state dinner and you aren’t quite sure what white tie means, know that the dapper fellow will be wearing black tails, white waist coat and white tie. Gals, long formal gowns, please.
Black Tie
This is the less formal evening dress code. Basically, your classic tuxedo is what you are looking for – i.e. James Bond. There are a lot of variations on the tux these days. However, technically, black tie means black bow tie and cummerbund or vest. In most places, you can get away with a tie and vest. But, if you are going to a really nice event that notes black tie on the invitation, stick to the classic bow tie. Just trust me on this. Ladies, again, long formal gowns.
Black Tie Optional (Invited)
This is a very ambiguous term. I have actually counseled people to not use this on their invitation. Mostly because it is very confusing. Really, this is the politically correct way of saying, “I really want you to dress up, but I don’t want to offend anyone by asking them to do so.” Like I said before. Get over it. Just ask for what you want. If you get an invitation that states black tie optional or black tie invited, know that your host expects you to dress up. So do it. Pull the tux out, wear a long dress. Maybe not one that is Oscar material, but you get the idea. Yes, you will be okay if you don’t wear a tux or if you prefer a cocktail dress. I personally believe that it is better to be overdressed than under-dressed. Just my two cents.
Semi-formal/Cocktail Attire
Guys, dark suits. Girls, cocktail dresses. Easy peasy.
What if the invitation doesn’t say what to wear? Well, this is where you interpret based on time, style of invitation, location, etc. I always err on the side of semi-formal dress for any wedding that doesn’t specifically say what to wear. Guys, a well-tailored suit will do amazing things for you. Unless it is an afternoon wedding, beach wedding, etc. where it will clearly be less formal, always do your part and dress nicely. It is one way of being respectful of your hosts and the importance of the event.
If you’d like to get some bullet points on what to wear, see Emily Post’s thoughts here. It’s not rocket science. But, always helpful. Here’s to being well-dressed – always! Until next time… XOXO, Julie
