It’s spring! After a long and (in my opinion) brutal winter, spring took it’s sweet time to show up around these parts. But, it’s here and it’s good! I’m continually shocked at how great the weather can be on a wedding day when we had prepared for every eventuality – such as last weekend’s glorious sun and wonderful temperatures.
It’s just these types of days that inspire brides all over the country to pick this season for their wedding date. It’s what makes those of us in this business gear up for the roller coaster of a work schedule (which we love, by the way). But, this season isn’t only filled with weddings. It’s filled with graduations, and Mother’s Day get-togethers, and parties, and Memorial Day cookouts, and concerts, and festivals, and community events, etc. I think it is a busier time than the holiday season because it’s never the same every year and it doesn’t necessarily have a definite end date that everyone else is revolving around. You are trying to plan a wedding for you and your closest friends and family and everything else around you seems to be moving at light speed.
So, how do you keep your sanity when you are anticipating the most important and wonderful day of your life in a few weeks and everything else around you seems to ramp up with no concern to your schedule at all? It takes some effort and some tough choices, but there are some things that you have to do to make sure you aren’t overrun with commitments and no time to concentrate on your day.
1. Prioritize. Such a basic thing to say and clearly everyone would do this. But, really think through what all you commit yourself to. Is there a sibling or cousin that is graduating the same day as house warming party for your close friend? Clearly they both mean a lot to you and you want to be involved in it all. But, you need to think about what milestones each are making. You can always visit the house later and bring a gift. And certainly there will be other celebrations in that house in the future. Not being there for your family on their graduation is not okay. It’s one day that you’ll never get back.
2. Know where to draw the line. So, your cousin is graduating from college and everyone is going to attend the ceremony and celebrate later. When you are asked to help with the party and your blood pressure begins to rise at just the thought of planning one more event in your life, just say no. This is when it’s completely okay to simply be there for your cousin. Contribute some money to the party fund, bring a gift. But, don’t feel that you have to head up the planning committee – or be on the committee at all. Be there in the moment and celebrate their achievement sincerely. Just don’t overload yourself when you know you can’t handle it.
3. Shorter invitation periods get fewer commitments. Many events are scheduled and extended invitations to guests 4-6 months in advance. If you’ve gotten 3 Save-The-Dates for spring time weddings and you have those firmly on your calendar, the invitation to a baby shower out of town that pops up 3 weeks in advance is competing with a few bigger pieces. You do not need to feel like you have to move heaven and earth to make it to the shower. Send a gift. Write a nice note to the mom-to-be. Then, make sure you are actually present or available to welcome the real gift – the new baby! – once they arrive. You can always balance out what is really important.
4. Know that there is always next year. Many of the events that come along during the spring aren’t once-in-a-lifetime events. These come every year. You can miss it this year and think about all the fun things you and your new husband will be doing as a married couple next time around!
5. You don’t have to do it all. It’s as simple as that. Don’t let anyone, specifically yourself, try to convince you that you need to do it all. You can’t. No body can. It’s totally okay to let go of some of it and let others take the lead on some things. You are preparing for a huge event and a major life decision. Let some other things go so that you can be clear minded about your own major event.
Until next time… XOXO, Julie
Photo credit: Once Like A Spark Photography
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